~Quote of the Day~


"NOM teh hand that fees you."

~icanhascheezburger.com

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I've Been Busy...Cut Me a Break...

I've been deployed. Still am. And now I'm paying more attention to my other blog....

But we have a new (and awesome) Commander-in-Cheif....so I'll have all kinds of fodder.

Schweet.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

OMG! Your Epidermis is Showing!

The Story: Kate Moss wears a see-through dress to an art exhibit in Istanbul. You can see her bewbies. Her 5 year old daughter is accompanying her.

My 2 Cents: Okay, I know I say this a lot, but seriously: Who Cares?

Oh, wait. I know: Fundamentalists.

I love how this (obviously conservative American) article portrays Kate as a terrible mother because you can see her breasts through the dress.

These people obviously have never been to Europe.

You know: Where people go topless on the beach, where nudity can be found on the cover of fashion magazines...AND it isn't covered up by a piece of plastic. Nudity is accepted. Really...no one cares.

People aren't ashamed of their own bodies. They teach their children not to be ashamed of their own bodies.

Wake up, geniuses. We wonder why our little girls go running into the arms of the first idiot who shows them attention in high school or junior high...? This kind of nit-picking is why. When you tell a girl that she cannot be comfortable in her own skin, you teach her that she must seek approval from someone else for fulfillment.

Good job. The stereotype about the preacher's/farmer's daughter exists for a reason. Hmmm....I wonder why the teen pregnancy rate in the US is significantly higher that that in Europe? But Europe allows nudity, drinking, and smoking at a younger age?

Just a thought..... :o)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming.

My apologies for a slight detour away from our usual reading enjoyment...so I return once again to our beloved Less Than Half a Nickel format.

The Story: Angelican Church Says: Gay Wedding Broke the Rules.

My 2 Cents: Who cares?

Seriously. For all of those homophobes out there: Get a life of your own and quit judging people who just want to be happy.

I'm not gay....most of us aren't, statistically. And guess what?....most of us don't care if someone is gay.

Am I the only one who sees the parable in this story? May he who has no sin cast the first stone and whatnot?

I don't really know...I'm not a Christian anymore. Maybe someone could school me on what the Bible says, in case I have it all wrong. We weren't put here to be Judge and Jury....there's supposedly already a higher power who has ear-marked that responsibility.

If God made someone gay then obviously God knows something we don't. Shoot, maybe THEY are the chosen ones...and those who shun, judge, or fear them are destined for the superheated convection oven below. Come on, Angelican Church, WWJD? Huh?

Blah, blah, blah.

I don't buy into that whole "God Hates Fags" movement that the Judeo-Christian sects seem to have embraced as a way to cover up their fears of the unknown (it doesn't matter whether they carry big billboards or say it through double-talk in a press release, they are all the same...hateful people). My humble spirit believes that God doesn't really care who you are sleeping with, so long as you are a good person who is doing the right thing in the world. Karma will bite you in the butt if you aren't.

There are really bad people in the world. Killers of thousands of innocent people. Fascists who lock away people and allow them to starve. Masked weirdoes who torture and kill Soldiers for doing their job under the guise of a "holy war." People who take advantage of others in order to gain financially. Liars, theives, murderers.

So, to the Angelican Church and it's followers: Get a life. These men aren't hurting anyone. They are GAY....another word for happy. Get over your judgement and be happy for them. There is real pain, real violence, real hunger in this world...and you focus on this?

Wake up. Shoot...I'll even buy you a cup of coffee, just so you can smell it.

I'm Not Being Paid to Think....Hey, Wanna See My M-4?

The Story: I'm in Germany. And I don't get to drink, sight-see, or have any kind of fun. Thank you, General Order Number One.

My Two Cents: The Army gives Soldiers weapons, but treats us like 12-year-olds.

Hi, everyone. If you actually read my blog, you know it's been a really-frickin'-long-time since I've posted. So long, in fact, that I'm actually surprised that they haven't shut down my account.

The reason for this travesty can be fully blamed on my volunteerism. I raised my (stupid) hand and joined the Army.

Don't get me wrong....I love the U.S. Army, and all it stands for...

But there are some times when I think that someone should have slapped me upside the head before I swore that oath.

This is one of those times.

We are deployed. Mobilized. Whatever. However you say it, we are away from home for over a year to do whatever the Army tells us to do.

At least we get paid.

Mobilization amounts to this: Lots of training, lots of waiting, paperwork, poking and proding, not enough sleep, no drinking, no sex, no tattoos, no gambling, and absolutely no fun.

Sounds like something you want to go and sign up for right away, right?

It gets worse.

Not only can you not drink alcohol, have sex, gamble, get a tattoo, or have any fun...you have to watch Joes (Soldiers) from other countries do ALL of the things that you are not allowed to do.

I thought I'd left all of those restrictions behind when I became an adult. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Apparently a 28 year old woman with 2 children at home can be trusted with a semi-automatic weapon, but cannot be trusted to know when it is appropriate to get laid or have a icy cold beer.

I am a paid killer....but I'm not being paid to think. I have Officers to do that for me.

God help us.

Hey...wanna see my gun? Heh.

Monday, March 24, 2008

The Big Guns

The Story: I've been issued a present. It's because the Military knows I deserve it. Or, I pissed someone off. You decide. Either way....it's a lovely gift. If you want to call it that. Here's what it looks like: Big Gun.

My 2 Cents: I don't like this thing much...but it does kill at a high rate of speed. And, unlike the majority of folks in my unit who have to carry multiple weapons, I only have to carry this one.

I'm glad, because this thing is a beast.

Let's put it this way. I weigh 130lbs. It weighs 28. And this is WITHOUT ammo, and the extra barrel. Combat load for this weapon is 800 rounds. That's a lot...if you couldn't already figure it out on your own.

It all adds up to a buttload of extra weight to worry about in addition to the stuff I'm carrying already.

It's gonna make me strong (to quote Major Payne).

Needless to say, it all makes me feel a little top-heavy. I'm 5'9" tall...130lbs....carrying over half my body-weight of gear and weaponry on and around my upper body.

If I fall down, I'll need help getting up.

I should buy one of those pager deals that seniors use if they fall and break a hip.

"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Of course, mine would be "Help, I've fallen and my weapon is squishing the life out of me!!!"

"Continue the Fight!"......(That's our Company Motto)

.....Ummm....yeah. As soon as I can get myself off the ground....I'll be right there.

At least It'll be easy for me to take cover.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Pause

The Story: I'll be out of the loop for a few weeks.

My 2 Cents: I'm currently in the fourth or fifth layer of hell. Or I would be, if I believed in hell.

That's right. Training. ARMY training.

Now, make no mistake about it: I love the Army. I love training. But when you get them together (and you Army folks know this)....well, things get interesting.

Let's put it this way: Take the crappiest experiences in your life and cram them all together into a 2 week period. Now, take 3 or 4 of the very best experiences in your life...and scatter them into that two weeks of crap.

And that is about how I feel right now. It's really very emotionally confusing.

I need a nap.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

What's Really Causing This "Global Warming" Thingy?

The Story: Scientists have predicted when the world will end, and how. According to this article, as the Sun expands (as all stars do when they age), our world will get warmer and warmer...and eventually (a billion or so years from now) all of our oceans will be boiled away by the heat of the expanding Sun.

A few billion years later, the Earth will be pulled into the Sun (as it changes into a "red giant") by its gravitational force and destroyed completely. ***Cue music: "It's the end of the world...as we know it....and I feel fiiiiiine...."***

My 2 Cents: The Earth will be SUCKED into the Sun. Nom, nom, nom. Hungry Sun.

What a ride that would be.

Of course, that's approximately 7.6 billion years from now. There's definitely plenty of time for lazy bloggers like me to speculate about this.

Am I the only one who sees the possible correlation between this theory and "Global Warming?"

Don't get me wrong....pollution is bad. Burning petroleum-based fuels is not a good thing. I'm certainly not saying it is.

*Ahem!* Prepare for the Naughty Oil Company Diatribe.

Our oil-dependent world is run by oil-baron corrupted governments...and that certainly isn't helping matters. We, as the current caretakers of this planet, need to research and USE alternative energy sources which will not poison our environment. And we should not be financially punished in order to do so. Alternative fuel use should be rewarded...and carbon fuel use should be shunned. When our government makes allegiances with oil-rich terrorist governments, simply because they have oil...those governments should be shunned and punished as well.

We should not be turning a blind eye to terrorism so we can have access to cheap oil. For the US to do so is hypocritical....and sick.

Facts are facts...oil is no longer a sensible energy source...period. Oil companies are gouging consumers because the government allows it....and the government allows it because they are getting something out of it. Oil companies say that the prices climb due to oil shortages...refining costs...transportation costs...taxes...etc, etc, etc,....but every fiscal quarter those same oil companies report record profit margins.

I'm confused. If the price of oil is increasing concurrently with the cost of refining and transporting the product...profit margins should stay the same.

It doesn't take an economist or an accountant to figure out that we're being screwed over here. And our pocketbooks are not the only things paying the price. All of the crap being belched into our atmosphere is simply speeding up the process of kicking the human race off the planet.

*Climbs off of one soap-box to move to another*

However, carbon in the atmosphere is not the only cause of our Planet's temperature increases. We can't blame the oil companies and those who purchase oil products for everything (I'll take some blame...I don't own a hybrid or other alternative fuel vehicle...but my car does get over 35 miles per gallon...so I'm doing what I can afford at this point).

The Earth has been going into, in, and coming out of Ice Ages for the lifetime of our planet. The short amount of time humans have inhabited this planet is not going to change that...no matter how important we think we are....we're still just a relatively miniscule part of the equation.

Seriously....I'm pretty hot...but I'm not the sun! :o)

Long Time, No Talky....

The Story: I've been really freaking busy.

My Two Cents: See above.

If I actually have any regular readers, they will have noticed that I've not posted in, oh...about a month or so. This is due to the fact that I've been **ScArY BuSy!!!!** getting ready for deployment...and trying to train the people in my office to do my job.

I decided to post today simply because I got up this morning and had 3 somewhat annoying things happen to be before I even got into the shower.

This does not bode well for the remainder of my day.

Sooo...I'm lying in bed after hitting the sleep button twice...and the Significant Other has his arm around me. I'm enjoying his furnace-like body heat... and suddenly I have the feeling that something is not right.

"Oh, shit!"

I hop out of bed and dash for the bathroom. If you're female, I don't have to explain any further. You know what it's like to wake up with this...annoyance. If you're male, you probably don't want me to explain any further....since this is a "female problem."

'Nuff said.

So, as I'm cleaning up and rinsing things out, the cat is yowling and meowing at me like crazy. He's been trying to escape the bathroom ever since I started muttering curse words under my breath. He wants out. Meow! So I open to door, close it...and the clock FALLS off the wall and hits me in the arm.

Curse words are suddenly much louder.

And all this happens within 5 minutes of my getting out of bed.

Then, to top it all off, I stub my toe on the bed as I leave the bathroom, step on a toy in the living room, and fall up the stairs on the way back up after I wake up the kids for school.

Please, tell me my day isn't going to get any worse.

(((Silence)))

Crap.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Got Blue Eyes? Hello, Cousin!

The Story: Apparently all people with blue eyes are related. You might be my cousin, 6000 times removed!

My 2 Cents: Hello, my blue-eyed cousins!

I think this is pretty cool...blue-eyed and green-eyed folks like myself and my children are all MUTANTS! (Cue creepy music)

Well, at least our DNA is mutated compared to brown-eyed folks.

This makes me wonder: Does that mutation affect anything else?

Friday, January 25, 2008

I NEED My Fix!!!

The Story: The TV writer's strike continues...our favorite shows are all on hold.

My 2 Cents: Okay, people, this has gone on long enough. I can't take it anymore. I'm getting a nervous tic.

I'm not one of those types who watches a lot of TV. I read a lot. But when I do watch the tube, I like the History Channel, Discovery, The Travel Channel, FOOD Network, and TLC. I don't pay too much attention to the others. The main conglomerates seem to all have at least one lame show highlighting unrealistic crimes and the processes of solving them. Those shows just don't do it for me.

I'm sorry....lab results don't come back within hours...or even days. Murders are not always solved within the week.

Aaaanyway...(have brain, will ramble).

There are a very small handful of shows that I simply don't like living without. And I want them back. I've come to the point that I've resorted to watching my M*A*S*H DVDs!

I'm like an addict looking for a fix that is adequate enough to replace their old habit.

My fix is the brain-mushiness that comes with losing oneself in an excellent TV show...and apparently my "drug" of choice is being held up because the dealers don't want to pay the suppliers enough for their quality products.

As if the networks aren't making enough already....and now they're LOSING money with their "we ain't gonna pay you" shenanigans. Just what is it that they are trying to accomplish?

If I wrote a hit TV show that won lots of awards, I would expect an excellent paycheck...AND a pay raise occasionally, as the show's ratings increased. Come on network execs...get over it already. The writers deserve recognition.

Pay them, dammit. Whatever they want. I need my fix.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Pet Obsessed

The Story: A 14-year-old Utah boy is in trouble with the law...for raping a dog.

My 2 Cents: EEeeeeewwwww!

Okay, people...when your kid is molesting your dog I'm afraid that you've failed as a parent. This kid has some serious issues..and I hope that the courts order some mental help for him and an investigation into the family to determine just where this behavior is coming from. Kids just don't act like this without any provocation. You know, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!"

Perverts are definitely not cool...hopefully the authorities find out just who "taught" this kid to molest a helpless animal...and prosecute them.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Bibliophile in Me SOOOO Wants One of These!!!

The Story: Amazon came out with a new ebook reader. The Kindle. It's wireless.

My 2 Cents: I want one. I really don't want to spend too long lauding the coolness of this device...read up on the link. I promise you won't be disappointed. I'll give a few highlights: It's a way to carry around 200 (or more) of your favorite books, with the ability to order one at ANY time on the included wireless network (it uses the Sprint network, not Wi-Fi...so no hot-spots necessary, and you don't have to have a plan). This thing is the size of a trade paperback. You get to keep the books you buy....and if you already have ebooks in another format, you can use the included software to put them onto your Kindle. There are tons of other features I'd love to talk about...but I don't want to bore you too much. I just want one...okay? This thing is unbelievably nifty. Gimme.

I'm torn. I really do want one of these things...I'm deploying and can put several hundred books on this thing and take it to Kosovo with me...and not have to buy any books while I'm there. It's an amazingly perfect solution to having to ship a huge box of books home at the end of my deployment.

BUT...

{There's always a BUT, isn't there?}

It the first generation of this device...and things always go wrong with the first of anything...so I have to be patient {aarrgghh!!} and wait until they fix the bugs. And wait for the price to drop from its acid-reflux inducing $399.

$399!!! Eeeek!

So, I wait. I scour the Amazon site for any mention of the company putting out the next generation of the device...or dropping the price. My patience is wearing thin. To buy....? Or not to buy? How much would it SUCK not to have this thing in Kosovo...especially if they come out with a newer model while I'm over there?! Argh!

If they do put out the debugged version...I'll buy it anyhow. Knowing that, I feel a little like an addict. I need my fix! I can stop any time....I know it!!!

{Fast forward, 5 years}

"Uhm, hi. My name is Sergeant P and I'm a Kindle addict. I've been off the books for..." Looks at my watch. "13 minutes."


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I'm ALREADY Sick of the Elections

The Story: No news is not necessarily good news. Election coverage is edging out the good stories. The ones that really matter.

My 2 Cents: Though I can't use "lack of news" as a good excuse for why I haven't blogged a decent post in the past few weeks, I can say that it has made things harder than they already are. I mean, I don't have the time to SEARCH so hard for a good story, dammit!

The elections are seriously putting a damper on my ability find good stories.

I promise. I'll find one. And it won't have anything to do with Hillary crying.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Omigod. I'm Drowning.

The Story: I'm deploying and I work in the office that helps get Soldiers medically ready to deploy. I have absolutely NO time to do anything.

My 2 Cents: I'm going to lose my mind. *Twitch! Twitch!*